With 46 years of scuffs. The design is a cannibalised poster advertising our residencies at the Hope and Anchor and the Nashville Rooms (London). Oddly enough it depicts a man reading a book.

The Soft Boys started as Dennis and the Experts, with Rob Lamb, in 1976, then became the Soft Boys, with Alan Davies, in December 1976. I joined New Year’s Eve 1977, so most of 1977 is missing from the scrapbook! The biggest item is a picture of Elvis Costello’s head, from a review of a Costello gig where we were third on the bill. ‘Broadsheet’ (Rob Lamb wrote one of the two pieces here) was a Cambridge University student produced listings mag.

Listings from the ‘Cambridge Ents Guide’- the Alma (if you played there on a Sunday you were also expected to host a lunchtime jam session), a ‘Rag Feast Rock Concert’ at Harvey Court, and the Alex Wood Hall. Also a review of that Elvis Costello gig mentioned on page 1- second on the bill Whirlwind, third on the bill the Soft Boys.

The Soft Boys are all over London listings ads in February 1978. Lutima Speranra (otherwise untraceable- a typo for Ultima Speranta? (Italian for ‘last hope’)) and Earth Quake have the biggest font (not the Police). A smug moment with ‘Brakes pad, but Softs parade’ (tho the Brakes got the photo). American viewers- that’s an Anglepoise lamp providing the stage lighting at the Alex Wood Hall.

A handwritten list of gigs. The Alex Wood Hall, Pembroke College, the Alma, the School of Pythagoras, Harvey Court, Trinity College, and the old ASC are Cambridge. Most of the rest London. Band listings- Radio Birdman- played to 2000 people at Paddington Town Hall, Sydney, Australia- which was ‘destroyed by crazed fans’. Broke up 1978. Stepaside- no information at all. The Banned- reached number 36 in the charts with ‘Little Girl’. The Young Ones- changed their name to Nine Below Zero. Lee Kosmin’s Loose Shoes- no information but lots of listings round the London pub scene. Plus a round up of bands on the ‘circuit’- only Dire Straits went on to world domination.

I had an odd resemblance in those days to an illustration of the character Peason from Geoffrey Willans’ and Ronald Searle’s ‘Molesworth’ books. Also on at the Nashville- Racing Cars, of ’They Shoot Horses, Don’t They’ fame, Cado Belle, from Scotland, with Maggie Reilly, Squeeze, whom Andy Metcalfe later joined, the Police, only 75p when we were £1, and the Banned, who made number 36 with ‘Little Girl’. The Soft Boys are humorously (at least to ourselves) identified as Vince Baxter and the Dynamos. We are also described as ‘the closest band we have yet produced to Pere Ubu’. Did ‘we’ produce a band more similar to Pere Ubu later on? Later on, the Soft Boys were Pere Ubu’s warm up band. On the first night, in those days of sullen reserve, which people thought was ‘cool’, their lead singer, David, burst into the room backstage, all geniality, bonhomie, introductions and good cheer. It was possible after all to rock’n’roll and be a good egg.

Who else is on at the Hope and Anchor that week in May 1978? The Makers- changed their name to the Gentry, then Spandau Ballet. Marrissey Muller Band- actually the Morrissey Mullen Band. I’m convinced that these ads were dictated down the phone, or sent in crudely handwritten. Jazz funk fusion. Jab Jab- self described as rock/reggae/calypso/ska/funk. Bernie Torme- Irish ‘punk rock’- died 2019. Sox- ‘secret’ gig by the Stranglers. Landscape- synth pop of Einstein a Go Go fame. Also at the Marquee- the Automatics- nearly half a century later they would infest Mike Read’s Heritage Chart. The Look- of ‘I am the beat’ fame. Clayton and the Argonauts- no information. Tonight- power pop from Southend. The Brakes- see previous pages! Chelsea- punk. The Tourists- with future Eurhythmics Dave Stewart and Annie Lennox.

Photos include fifth Soft Boy Jim Melton, who we included in or excluded from the official line up randomly. Who else was on that week at the Hope and Anchor? The Records- with polymath Will Birch. Soulyard- no information. Leppo and the Jooves- the Soft Boys- an alternative name, borrowed from one of our songs- the idea I think was to bypass our audience’s expectations, allowing us to experiment with the set list. I wish I could remember what the alternative set list was! Certainly, later on, we played (as the Soft Boys) at the Portland Arms in Cambridge, with guests, and turned the set list on its head- and it was recorded, and it’s on Youtube. Psalms- no information (I don’t think actual psalms were sung). Juice on the Loose- ‘conglomeration’ of respected London musicians. The Members- of ’Sound of the Suburbs’ fame. TLC- no information. The Edge- new wave musicians with pedigree. At the Red Cow- 90 Degree Inclusive- reggae. Leppo and the Jooves- when we arrived, a line had formed outside, of Stranglers fans under the impression that this was a ’secret’ Stranglers gig. They remonstrated with us! (for not being the Stranglers). Landscape- synth pop. Warren Harry- died 2008. Blast Furnace and (should be The Heatwaves)- alter ego of journalist Charles Shaar Murray.

These photos were called Walkerprints and were dished out as required by record companies etc, in this case the short lived Radar. Radar also gave me the guest pass to Knebworth (an annual one day festival) on the strength of Rockpile (with Dave Edmunds and Nick Lowe) being in the lineup. I cycled there from Cambridge. Second on the bill Frank Zappa, the only live band I have fallen asleep during. Headlining- the Tubes. The set for the photos was an all white room, empty except for model aircraft apparently disappearing into the walls. We are wearing silver make up. Robyn would occasionally produce accessories like this from a grubby green vinyl shoulder bag. The reviewer left the Nashville (pub in west London) gig early for the elaborate reasons described. Can’t remember the ‘introductory Cage-ish tape collage’. The Limit was in Sheffield. Opened 1978, closed 1991, now demolished. Two nights of Bethnal! Johnny Moped- punk. Double Life- jazz funk. Warren Harry- wrote songs for Bucks Fizz, Anthony Newley and John Otway.

I wish I’d appreciated Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers more in 1978. ‘Label News’ includes PVK Records- PVK signed Peter Green, who was having serious personal problems at the time, and sadly I think that continued to his death. Complicatedly, Harburger Express is a typo for Hamburger Express, previously Hamburger Waves, previously the Waves, including future Katrina and the Wave Alex Cooper, future Chris Alexander Chris Hamburger, future Katrina and the Waves extra man Phil Nichol, and future Soft Boy and Katrina and the Wave me. We were all at Cambridge University. There follows a difficult to read ad for the Soft Boys. Listings- Fischer Z- one of Lee’s all time favourites. What is the difference between XTC and XTC for under 18s? Wish I could remember the intriguingly named Solid Waste. Looked them up- punk, from Chelmsford, recorded at Spaceward.

Oxford Elm Park Centre. Adjacent dressing rooms for the Soft Boys and the critically acclaimed Wire. Actually one room divided by a movable concertina like partition. Wire complained because somebody had bumped into the wobbly partition, and their guitars were leaning against the other side of it. It’s funny the little things you remember. At the Hope and Anchor, Robyn introduces us as Larry and the Bicycles, which joins the list of alternative names that includes Vince Baxter and the Dynamos and Leppo and the Jooves. The ‘and the’ formula was unfashionable, therefore ironic. Alex Wood Hall, the Alma, Strawberry Fair, Pembroke Pavilion and the May Balls are all in Cambridge. The Vipers- from Ireland, liked by John Peel (liked or not liked by John Peel was a primary classification of bands in those days). Sadly not the Vipers Skiffle Group with Wally Whyton. Duncan and the Soft Ducks sounds put together from members of various Cambridge bands. Two photographs of me and Robyn, one both in T shirts, one both in red flares, plus kaftan and posh waiter’s jacket. We had various dress codes, like the pseudonyms short lived. Or that might have been random. You could say the same about Katrina and the Waves. Also, a hand written note from my mother. In those days I had no concept of anyone not understanding ‘our’ music, or finding it too loud, or going on too long.

A long, complimentary review from Ian Penman, and a monumental put down from David Hepworth, who much later wrote thoughtful, perceptive full length books like ‘A Fabulous Creation’ and ‘1971’. ‘Scabrous’ means covered in scabs, or indecent, salacious. Another review describes a ‘line’ from Penetration to Siouxsie and the Banshees- you zig zag off it to find the Buzzcocks, Magazine, Subway Sect and the Soft Boys. I feel more of a spirit of camaraderie with Chas and Dave (not mentioned in the ‘line’) appearing the night after us at Dingwalls. Our first album is announced with the title ‘Heat Me Up and Tell Me You’re Happy’. The Soft Boys are on a compilation from the Cambridge based Raw Records, with ‘Hear My Brane’- like ’Skool Dinner Blues’ using the jokey spelling from Willans’ and Searle’s Molesworth books. Alongside are the Unwanted- cheerily untogether punk- the Killjoys- Johnny Won’t Get to Heaven sold 18000- Some Chicken- morose shouting- the Users- with my friends Chris Free and the late Andrew Bor- Downliners Sect (formed in 1962!)- no mention of their 1970s recordings in their discography- Gorillas- high energy rock, with distinctive clothes and haircuts. All recorded at Spaceward Studios in Cambridge. This record being a scrapbook, there are a great many print reviews and listings. There is no mention, for example, of the two weeks we spent at Rockfield residential studios. On arrival, Jim and I discovered that someone had left a gargantuan flush resistant floater in the toilet. It was painful just to contemplate the size of it. It was agreed tho, that this was hilarious. There was also a piano tuner at work as I unloaded the gear. He complained, muttering that the more noise I made the longer he would take. It was a bit like being back at school, where you’re told that the whole class would have to stay behind because some individual had wasted time. I should have told him that if he wanted to make himself really useful, he could remove the floater. PS- the record company instantly scrapped the Rockfield album and I have never heard it. But many of the songs appear on the Can of Bees album.

A note from an audience member- ‘you’re all very’- can’t read the next word. Several criticisms of the time start something like- ‘you’re all very clever, but…’ The crab backdrop appears. Robyn designed it of course, we helped with the colouring in. Needing a large flat floor, we entered an unlocked, semi derelict industrial building in King Street, Cambridge, spread out the canvas and painted, certainly over more than a day’s painting and drying time. It seems incredible now to stroll unchallenged into a large empty building in the centre of a world heritage city and carry on normal (ish) activity without anyone batting an eyelid. Years later, my late friend Roger Smith would tell tales of his stint with a firm experimenting with high temperature metals processes in King Street, including horrific tales of pranks like throwing chemicals at unsuspecting co workers so that their clothes would disintegrate. I wonder if it was the same place. My first Stratocaster, with the back to nature stripped paint finish- nothing dates like the recent past. Unspectacular T shirts for me and Robyn, smart waistcoat and tie on Andy. Backs of lush heads of hair contrast with the sea of eggshell like domes in a (fairly) recent photo of Kim and Lee at the Railway Hotel, Southend. Broadsheet (Cambridge students’ listings mag) rock/jazz/folk diary- some horrible cartoons, plus Out Of The Blue, featuring the late, most gentlemanly Mike Lewis. The NME (weekly music paper New Musical Express) ‘Book of Modern Music’- we are clever (again), and ‘formed as a reaction against nothing in particular’. You HAD to be against SOMETHING!

We are Pere Ubu’s warm up band on their British tour. So are duo Red Crayola, also American- open, friendly drummer, reserved guitarist, disgruntled that Red Crayola went on first. Possibly they hadn’t told him we would be going on second, or even that a third, British band would appear on this tour, an all too familiar music biz practise! A Telecaster into a Fender Twin, on full top end. Previously naive, it dawned on me that music could be unlistenable. But it’s left field and sincerely meant. But it’s unlistenable. Still looking for the answer.
Pere Ubu- genial vocalist David, friendly bass player Tony, reserved synthesiser player (which you couldn’t really hear) Alan, seemingly the thirty five year old (ancient at the time) corduroy jacket wearing polytechnic lecturer type. There must also have been a drummer and guitarist, now lost in my brain fog.
That photo of Robyn again, undoubtedly during one of his improvised onstage mid song stories, when he would raise his arms in the air to emphasise a dramatic twist.
A set list. The opener, Do the Chisel- the repeated title line, unusually for us the only lyrics in the song- in principle a bit like Mashed Potatoes by James Brown, except that there never was a Chisel dance- but there was Lee’s wonderful interpretive dancing, to this and all the other songs in the repertoire. Fatman- the first new song I learned in the SBs- until that point I’d simply inherited all of my predecessor Alan Davies’ guitar ideas. Mystery Train- a 12 bar, from Little Junior Parker (the only blues singer to be both little AND junior) and Elvis. Sandra (Sandra’s Having Her Brain Out)- mini opera, gets more preposterous- Sandra is joined by Brenda, who’s having her heart washed- the big finish- Bloaty’s Having His Newt Installed, sung as a round. School dinner blues- not the Molesworth spelling (skool) this time. Return of the Sacred Crab- Robyn would recite passages mid song from the novel Night of the Crabs (horror but also including sex scenes)- we mocked the novel mercilessly. Give it to the Soft Boys- theme song, on the principle of Hey Hey We’re the Monkees, usually at the beginning of the set. Hear my Brane- the Molesworth spelling. Have a Heart Betty- rocking 1950s style pop, desperately unfashionable in 1979. Leppo and the Jooves- featuring Robyn on green bass.

What looks like the advice page from ‘Sounds’ fills most of the space. Most of that extols Raw Records’ record pressing etc service for aspiring bands, quoting us as part of their success story. Plus readers writing in with complaints about not receiving promised T shirts and EPs- and drum parts from Henrit’s drum store. Bob Henrit later joined the Kinks- I can report, from Katrina and the Waves’ stint as their warm up band, that they were a very convivial bunch, especially Ian Gibbons, who later played on twelve Kimberley Rew and Lee Cave-Berry albums. The Hope and Anchor’s second Front Row Festival is announced. Also appearing are the Troggs, who I regret not going to see. The editor of Sounds has inserted ’sorry’ next to the Troggs’ name, the typical herd mentality, sneering, ‘when you’re hot you’re hot, when you’re not you’re not’ attitude. Also announced is Rory Gallagher’s single ’Shadow Play’- a cover became a staple of our Cambridge band Jack for twenty years, harharr, man and boy. At the Nashville- two nights of Sore Throat! Punk/new wave, from Highgate, London. Tribesman- reggae. Immigrant- no information. Panties- no information (possibly a ’secret’ gig by Ian Dury, of ’New Boots and Panties’ fame?) Split Rivitt- R&B. The Inmates- R&B. The Streetband- of ’Toast’ fame- became Q Tips. Stickers appeared around the Nashville, Hope and Anchor etc with cryptic handwritten messages including the word ‘yodel’. (I’ve checked- it’s a euphemism for almost anything to do with sex or vomit) (like a lot of euphemisms). I remember us eventually being briefly introduced to the two girls responsible for this campaign- they were very nice, ordinary young ladies, certainly without any air of being ‘up for it’. Also on in London- pioneering, already veteran, camp singer George Melly- Pete Atkin, who co wrote songs with critic and poet Clive James (songs not very rock’n’roll but worth a listen for evidence of the direction in which rock’n’roll lyrics could have evolved)- and the Osmonds. Our forthcoming album is announced again, this time as ‘The Day They Ate Brick’.

The antidote to page 14, where the main feature was a plug for Raw Records’ recording and pressing service (something new in 1978, and described as akin to the long familiar ‘vanity publishing’ for aspiring authors). A long list of protests from Raw’s customers, and bands on the label, including the SBs, that they’d never been paid. The sales figures are curious- the band are told a high figure, say 10 000- everybody’s happy- which then goes down to say 3 000 when the band asks for the cash to be coughed up. In the music world, it helps if you can carry contradictory facts in your head, while keeping a smile on your face and sleeping at night (or day). The Rock Garden- in this grim dive, while we were on stage, my girlfriend Sarah entered the ‘dressing room’ and stumbled on two petty criminals going thru our coat pockets. With great presence of mind, she defused the situation by asking the main thug to dance. A bad review from the Nashville- we are compared unfavourably to a puddle of sick. We are booked by the Cambridge Folk Club at their home venue, the Portland Arms. This is announced as ‘the Soft Boys go folk’. The gig was recorded as ‘Live at the Portland Arms’ (needless to say it’s available on Youtube). The Folk Club was an outlet for Robyn’s songs in the mid seventies, and by now they’d taken him to their hearts. There are some entertaining Doo Wop covers, via Maureen and the Meatpackers, Mungo Carstairs on saxophone, me doing ‘Deck of Cards’ which seems disrespectful now. Songs like ‘Give Me A Spanner’, which you couldn’t do at the Nashville- it has quiet moments which would only give the audience the opportunity to yell ‘f**k off’. The forthcoming album is finally announced as A Can Of Bees.

At the Hope and Anchor, I’m playing a Telecaster belonging to our sound engineer Ivan Carling (look him up). In the next photo I’m inflicting a ‘rock’ guitar pose on Andy. Jim Melton in stripy jumper. Robyn’s T shirt reads ‘Where Are the Prawns’ (song title). A review in Cambridge University student mag Broadsheet. We have become the Cambridge establishment. They are smart enough to have become bored with us. They warn their readers not to enjoy us. They knock us off our perch, at a modest height tho it be. Not sure what seven date tour is they refer to, tho there is a ‘two month trek’ advertised on this page (the live recording at the Nashville and the double A side single didn’t materialise). The ‘Vac’ is the vacation between university terms.
A man in Fort William, of all places, advertises bootlegs, of us, which I’ve never heard. Also the Table (best known song Do the Standing Still), Prag Vec (John Peel liked them), Wire (still going!) Stoat (experimental- and seemingly there was/is another more recent Stoat, also experimental), Yachts (rocking pop- Morris now (2024) plays in Henry Priestman’s band), New Hearts (became Secret Affair).

Another photo from the same night at the Hope and Anchor. From ‘Girton Ball’ (I’d imagine a Cambridge college gig where we wouldn’t be glancing over our shoulder for reviewers brandishing sharpened pens) an odd set list- first half completely fictitious, in the tradition of announcing the band as Vince Baxter and the Dynamos or Leppo and the Jooves, or announcing the forthcoming first album as The Day They Ate Brick- then an all covers second half (the only half), apart from Wey Wey Hep Uh Hole- a song from The Band, two from the Velvet Underground, three from Cream, one from Van Morrison and one from Chuck Berry (Jim’s vocal spot?), then Captain Beefheart, John Lennon and Fairport Convention. (Lee and I have just (2024) been to a Fairport Convention gig, 54 years after my first FC gig. With three of the same band members). From the Rock Garden, another baffling set list- starts in I don’t know whose handwriting with three British folk rock numbers- the Gallant Poacher, Poor Will and the Jolly Hangman and Mr Lacey- then something illegible, then something crossed out, then Love Poisoning, the Asking Tree, then a medley of Bonde Mteko Stomp (Bonde Mteko was the name of a cottage I briefly rented outside Cambridge, where the band could rehearse), a medley of something illegible and African Takeaway, then something crossed out, then Face of Death- then in Robyn’s handwriting- Leppo (and the Jooves), Pigworker, Sandra (’s Having Her Brane Out), the Asking Tree, Love Poisoning, a medley of Horns (Horns Large Horns, an acapella piece from the Albion Country Band) and (African) Takeaway, the Rat’s Prayer, (Do) the Chisel, School Dinner Blues, Wey Wey (Hep Uh Hole), Fatman (’s Son), (Let Me Put It) Next to You. Does the second part replace the first part (without actually removing it from the list?) A review of a charity gig in Cambridge. For once the merry cries of ‘F**k off!’ are directed at someone else. We evidently went down well but the reviewer wished we hadn’t. Strangely on this page I’ve included a review of Magazine, just above us on the greasy pole- can’t remember why, but the reviewer tries to demolish not only the band, but the whole idea trying to convey the excitement of loud rock’n’roll in words. It started as fun, then it got serious, then it got negative, then, inevitably it got sneered at. Then they got bored with it. Was it the good old days? Despite all this, it was probably more good old when it was relatively new than it is now.

At last, not ‘Heat me up and tell me you’re happy’, or ’The day they ate brick’, but ‘A can of bees’. Four negative reviews. Silence descends, tumbleweeds occasionally roll across the stage. One year later the first major paper (NME, Sounds, Melody Maker) will break the silence with a paragraph on the follow up album, Underwater Moonlight.
That’s how it looks from the scrapbook, particularly after the yards of breathless print composed about the band in 1978. I remember my life in the summer of 1979 as an intensive time- busking, camping thru France, the arrival of Matthew, Robyn in top creative gear, the Boathouse miraculously becoming available for rehearsals, passing my driving test etc.

An advert for Spaceward Studios, Cambridge. We recorded the studio segment of A Can Of Bees there, (£120 a day), and they also recorded us for the live segment at the Lady Mitchell Hall, Cambridge. The follow up album is announced as ’That’s my fish you’re holding’ (oo er missus).
The poster for Canterbury Art College has a suitably art student-y design. I remember the very boisterous ‘Sittingbourne Skins’ invading the venue. Afterwards, where there had been a microphone on a stand, there was a cable with forlorn bare wires sticking out of the end. The PA hire man confronted me and I realised we were expected to pay. What did a Shure SM58 cost in 1979? Looked it up but all I found was a contemporary advert for the microphone featuring Cleo Laine (48 in 1979, 96 in 2024).

Blackpool Norbreck Castle is a very large hotel styled like a castle, and still going (2004). Nextdoor was the equally huge Miners’ Convalescent Home, a grim reminder that the job could well bring serious injury with it. Trams passed the front door- a unique survival in the 1970s, very much counter to the idea of progress at that time.
The Soft Boys had a lighting man named Mungo, whose father was Vice Chancellor of York University- the Carstairses would kindly let us sleep on their floor for gigs in York, Scarborough etc.
Cambridge Tech was the Lonely’s first gig. They’re still going (2024) with three original members, so celebrated their 40th anniversary in 2019. They always let me join in!
Robb Appleton appears on the Soft Boys albums ‘Live at the Portland Arms’ and ‘Two halves for the price of one’.

The poster for the Portsmouth Polytechnic gig includes a review of ours from the Nashville (West London) (so people know what to expect) and a sticker that accompanied the single ‘I want to be an Anglepoise lamp’ (without the word ‘lamp’). The sash window is on the front of Robyn’s house in Kimberley Road, Cambridge. ‘Cold Turkey’ is a useful magnetic pole for reviewers to point their compass at; ‘We like bananas (because they have no bones)’ applies the right amount of wobble to the compass needle.

An interview unusually with three interviewers, including future novelist Nick Hornby. Already, in our mid 20s, we are the old guard, have legendary status and a senior audience. (Nick Hornby is five years younger than me). A postcard of the Norbreck Castle- the photographer was interested in the tram enough to wait for one to appear.

Early lyrics of Kingdom of Love, more elaborate towards the end than the song we know. You don’t see many manuscripts of Robyn’s lyrics, at least partly because he knew them all anyway, and alternative versions of them, or would change or refine them on the night.

‘In 1980 it will be OK to like the Soft Boys again’. He was right up to a point.
We play at the Hope and Anchor in Islington nine times in six months. When the worm turned and were declared not to be ‘relevant’ or ‘valid’ after all, we were always welcomed back to the Hope by the staff and the audience, a relief from the undercurrent of sullen hatred which seemed to infest other London dives.
One afternoon our solitary crew member Howie and I parked the van outside the Hope and Anchor. The load in was thru the twin trapdoors in the pavement where the beer barrels came in and out. Howie went in to lift the door flaps from the inside. I watched outside to warn pedestrians. At exactly the wrong moment, as the flaps began to lift, a middle aged lady walked round the corner. Horrified, I started forward, but it was too late. She stepped on the rising flap, then realised just in time and halted. She was furious. Unfortunately Howie thought this was hilarious. ’I’ll come back with a policeman!’ she threatened, like something out of Dennis the Menace. But she didn’t.
Harvey Court (Cambridge) with Device and the Lonely- all friends. All I can remember is that somehow two well meaning blokes got involved with Device, had built a PA system and wanted to use it on this gig- it didn’t work very well. They both had the popular mullet with moustache hairstyle. Robyn christened them the Naffodes- naff meaning anything poor quality, ‘ode’ a vaguely scientific sounding suffix.

Ted Koehorst of the Lonely is now ‘legendary’, one year into their career. The Soft Boys have been ‘eclipsed’ by Dolly Mixture, and Cambridge’s premier New Wave group are Device.
The Barracudas and the Soft Boys at the Africa Centre (Covent Garden). I don’t think the Africa Centre was usually a venue for live bands. The three bands were allocated a single dressing room. Afterwards, the Africa Centre’s rep called me aside and gestured with silent reproach at a newly broken door handle- the vague movement of the arm, the meaningful pause. Yet again it was like being back at school- ‘it’s not so much you’ve let the school down, you’ve let yourselves down’ etc etc. (Sorry these notes are turning into a catalogue of petty resentments!).
The Barracudas were deafening, and continued to be, afterwards, in the communal dressing room, with their trendy hangers on- it was like being a spare part at one’s own party.
James Morgan Studios (South London). We recorded at Pat Collier’s 4 track Alaska Studios, then moved to 8 tracks at James Morgan. The only information I can find is that James subsequently moved to Spain (his wife is Spanish). The studio was in James’ house; I’m fairly sure Howie was driving the van, and I didn’t have my bearings, so I don’t know where we were, except that it was a typical neighbourhood of terraced houses, late Victorian sprawl. I would love to know the address. (The late Matthew Seligman, from Wimbledon, would probably have known).

Holly Vincent (of Holly and the Italians) likes us.
The demise of the Radar label is reported in April 1980. Our single ‘I want to be an Anglepoise Lamp’ appeared on the Radar label in March 1978- over the next few months Radar organised and paid for various further recording sessions- nothing more was released. No cash advanced to any Soft Boys- always very much a matter of sleeping on people’s floors, taking odd jobs like temporary Christmas postman etc- before, during and after the brief association with the Radar label.
A photocopy of a photo of Alex Chilton, Morris, Matthew and Knox (of the Vibrators)- these last three accompanied the lead singer of the Box Tops (and Big Star) at a solitary gig at Dingwall’s (Camden). I don’t remember them playing ‘The Letter’.

We are the solution to 12 across in a crossword (clue- group of wimpish lads).
A review in Musicians Only, informatively including a run down of our equipment.

Our first ever chart placing- up to number 23 over 3 weeks in Sounds’ (weekly music paper’s) ‘alternative’ chart. (Spizz, still going strong in 2024, has three records in the chart above us). I think too that’s the first time we’ve been ‘alternative’. In 2023 Robyn returned to the Portland Arms in Cambridge (accompanied by Morris, Lee Cave-Berry and myself) and was advertised by the Portland as ‘Alt Rock’ (the term ‘alternative’ soon needed shortening). Is the longest time (43 years) anyone’s ever been alternative?
(In the Portland’s monthly program, we were the only item listed as Alt Rock).

We run into trouble with the Mothmen- we have unknowingly pipped them to the post with our cover of Pink Floyd’s ‘Vegetable Man’. They claim to be more ‘relevant’ (cue Bluebottle at the end of ‘I’m Walking Backwards For Christmas’ protesting ‘’Ere, I didn’t think much of that, I thought my side was better’).
Gerry Hale and Robb Appleton were both members of Cambridge band Telephone Bill and the Smooth Operators. (Another Smooth Operator was Chris Cox who appears on the Robyn Hitchcock album ‘I Often Dream of Trains’).
Four out of eight bands advertised this week at the Hope and Anchor are still going! (2024):
Seven Year Itch- one single available- Ooh Ya Ha- I Wanna Make You- the standard da da da da da da da da thing of the time
The Lemons- poppy ska, matching yellow suits and bow ties
Hank Wangford Band- stage name of Dr Samuel Hutt- still going, age 83- cheery country rock
Johnny Mars- American bluesman- still going, age 81
The Scene- mod revival- still going (mod has had several revivals)
The Keys- power pop 1979 to 1983
Nine Below Zero- well established purveyors of rhythm and bluesy rock- still going

Punk died either in 1980 or November 1977
We are reproached with having A-Levels (a school qualification)
The clock stopped in 1967 (2024, the time of writing, is the year of Robyn’s memoir ‘1967- How I Got There And Why I Never left’). Hailing 1967 as year zero in 1980 is like hailing 2011 as year zero in 2024- which is much less likely.
The impression you get from a scrapbook full of press cuttings, particularly thru 1980, is of people agonising over whether we were the Psychedelic Revival and if so is this a good idea?

The Underwater Moonlight album:
Song by song clerihews:

I wanna destroy you
Robyn’s brain collides with eighties gloom
tho sadly no match
for Reagan and Thatch
(if they’d happened to be in the room)

Matthew apparently was also a member of other bands- certainly Local Heroes, Bruce Woolley, Bobby Henry and Knox. Matthew’s natural charm and bonhomie must have helped him to achieve this, which with most people would be a desperate tightrope act. And he was a fast learner. Local Heroes’ ‘Stabbed In The Heart Again’ starts as you’d expect with a very distinctive bass groove. The punch line is sung repeatedly in the tone of voice that you’d expect for what it’s saying.
The Records- power pop with drummer/writer Will Birch
Peter Perrett- singer of The Only Ones of ‘Another Girl, Another Planet’ fame.

Kingdom of love
Kingdom of Love was Harold’s catchphrase
I gave him my recorder in an idealist phase
He tramped the streets in a robe of old curtains
And his sister done over a canteen in Royston

Maxwell’s Hoboken is the only gig I have played with the original Soft Boys, Katrina and the Waves, on the Soft Boys reunion, and with Julian Dawson. Also playing the clubs in New York this week in 1980 are Pylon, and the Method Actors. All members of both bands very polite and friendly.
The postcard is of the lobby of the Iroquois Hotel on 44th Street. We shared two rooms. There was some attempt to keep cornflakes on the premises, quickly abandoned thanks to cockroaches.
There was an unwritten rule about how many blocks you could safely venture from the hotel on foot- not many. After dark, none at all.
When we flew back home, the Method Actors were still there. And on the tube train, and on the floor of Howie’s, Morris’s and my very cheap house off the Holloway Road. The gig diary shows them as still there, two months later, playing with us at the Music Machine.
Somehow I was given the job of wheeling the trolley with the two bands’ guitars thru customs at Heathrow. The Soft Boys’ guitars were in beaten up cases and had evidently been owned by the band previous to the trip. The Method Actors’ guitar was, I think, a shiny Gibson 345 in a smart case, and looked suspiciously like one a British band would buy more cheaply in NY than they could in London, then bring home hoping to pass it off as a band instrument, and avoid paying customs duty. I also for some reason had master discs on the trolley, in cardboard boxes, which the customs man eagerly slit open with a knife. He eventually let me go, and I walked thru to join the rest of the band. The first sight I remember was the concerned face of manager Richard Bishop, and that’s the only time I ever remember him taking any sort of interest in my welfare! (sorry Bish).
The Nottingham gig. We had the rare luxury of a hotel. For some reason, there was one more of us than had been booked. The desk clerk scratched his head, we stood there. Eventually he left the room for a moment. At this point I scuttled up the stairs with the Quixotic idea that there would now be the correct number of people arrived at the front desk. What I thought I would do next I can’t now imagine. Anyway, from behind a bedroom door I heard the two Method Actors conversing. Being the opening band, they had arrived at the hotel before us. I knocked, and asked if I could sleep on their floor, which they kindly agreed to. (They had bunks).

Positive vibrations
fashions get revived by people all the time
tho they should have the decency
to wait for a decade or three
we revived the sixties in 1979
(nowadays they’d revive it on Jan the first 1970)

A rare festival booking, Leeds Futurama. Seventh on the bill on the Sunday. Gary Glitter headlines. The venue was a huge empty building like an aircraft hangar. No ceiling, no windows as such, concrete floor. The stage was near one end. There was no backstage. You simply stood over your pile of gear nearby, from when the van arrived until it left, with an interval for actually playing. No discernible facilities. Various diehards slumped or asleep against the side walls. One dressing room- again no actual furniture. I had a tool box- I think I was doing what I could, from time to time, to keep the gear working- which I’d left on the dressing room floor by a random bit of wall. Hazel O’Connor’s keyboard player, changing to his stage clothes, had left his jacket on it. The only alternative was to place it on the filthy concrete. I removed the jacket- ‘sorry, this is my tool box, we’ve got to go now’. This is the only time I have placed an item of a New Wave icon’s band member’s clothing on the floor.

I got the hots for you
Hots Foster said ‘I’ve got the hots for Stella’
he was a charming romantic fella
with Ducks on the Wall he trod the boards
(I could never remember the chords)

Posters for a gig with Doll by Doll- unusual Gothic solidity, pre Goth- and a benefit gig at the Hope and Anchor, for the charity Infil, which supplied bathroom improvements for people living cheaply in publicly owned housing that was waiting to be ‘done up’ and would otherwise be left empty. The event was informally called the Bog Do.

Insanely jealous
guide vocal- re record it less intense
but what in the world would be the sense?
lyrics zip past at speed of lightly
never the same thing two times nightly

(Robyn’s vocal on Insanely Jealous Of You is the original guide vocal, on a Shure SM57. It was impossible to replace that vocal with an overdubbed one with as much intensity. The lyrics, too, and the number of lines in the big final chorus, were changing anyway with every take, as they often did).

We didn’t go to Spain.
Robyn appears in photos with an iron, an Anglepoise lamp, scissors and an electric drill.
A review of a gig at the Hope and Anchor where everything goes wrong. I break two strings, Matthew breaks a bass string, which is almost impossible, then a lead, then a strap. To this day I dream of things going wrong at gigs. Usually band members disappearing, or gear disappearing, particularly after I’ve laboriously got everything present and correct.  At least this story line has superseded finding myself back in school (I am 72 years old). Morris dreams of drums escaping as he tries to play. Actually, I used to hit the strings far too hard, so they broke constantly. I’m not so bad now.

Tonight
it’s got a Teddy Boy
and it’s got a Teddy girl
it’s even got a ‘curl’
but it isn’t rhymed with ‘girl’
it’s in the middle of a line
(where it’s happy)

You’ll have to go sideways
Soft Boys could move in any direction
south west and north
chess queens back and forth
(tho my Moog work won’t bear close inspection)

Old pervert
why did Robyn sing in character of Perv?
in Nottingham’s fair citee
he dedicated it to Alvin Lee
who stormed out- hardly what he deserved!

Queen of eyes
jangly guitars once again
here two guitars playing the same
(the Police were currently having massive hits with one guitar and a chorus pedal)
three years later the studio engineer made you have chorus- the mother******
but by then the Police weren’t talking to each other

A photo in the Observer.
We went quite a long way to Richmond for the photo session- perhaps a suggestion of Matthew’s, a Wimbledon boy. The cold weather was just arriving. We popped into a second hand record shop. Records were precious then- I saved my pennies and bought what I could. I found the album ‘Bayou Country’ by Creedence Clearwater Revival, from 1969, for 50p. The others peered at the track list. ‘Keep on Chooglin’’ said Robyn, ‘is that that long jam?’ ‘I don’t like long jams’ said Matthew.
The Harry Worth style photo is from the top of the Empire State Building- you can just see one of those distinctively styled telescope things in the background.

Underwater moonlight
Robyn played the ‘green bass’ solo
Which even then was a copy of a Danelectro
Matthew supplied the proper bass
(I dont think anyone else has ever done this)

The posthumous Soft Boys album ‘Two Halves For The Price Of One’. The two halves are titled ‘Only the Stones Remain’- leftover studio tracks- and ‘Lope at the Hive’- live at the Hope (and Anchor).
I remember dust settling on the SBs and the fitful flame of press interest fizzling out. Amazingly, I’d filled up the forty odd page scrapbook I’d manufactured in 1978, except for an empty A4 sized rectangle on the back page. On cue, a statement arrived from Cherry Red (publisher) with a cheque for £1.02 (I don’t know what the £46.26 refers to). The statement filled the gap in the scrapbook. Like Berry Gordy of Motown fame, I decided to frame the cheque rather than cash it. It worked! (tho I’ve since lost the cheque).